There’s something magical that happens when a group of souls gather virtually to explore life’s deeper questions. On a recent winter morning, that’s exactly what our Rebels did – diving into the deliciously complex topic of attachment, pleasure, and the art of truly enjoying life without getting caught in the sticky web of outcomes.

Picture this: Screens lighting up across time zones, faces appearing one by one, each bringing their own flavor of wisdom to our collective feast. The air (albeit virtual) crackled with anticipation as we settled in for our second Soul Mixer, aptly titled “Have Your Cake and Eat It, Too.”

But first – a moment to ground. Deep breaths filled lungs, hearts were thanked, and bodies remembered they’re more than just vessels for carrying our busy minds from meeting to meeting. As one Rebel beautifully put it, we’re all just “walking each other home.” No one ahead, no one behind – just fellow travelers on this cosmic journey.

Then came the juicy stuff.

You know that anxious feeling when you’re approaching a green light, and your whole body tenses as you silently pray it won’t turn yellow? One Rebel shared this perfect metaphor for how we often move through life – constantly attached to outcomes, always rushing, forever chasing the next green light. But what if we could be equally content whether we make the light or not? 🤯

The conversation deepened as we explored the difference between attachment and enjoyment. Here’s the plot twist that had everyone’s neurons doing backflips: People-pleasing? It’s actually just attachment to outcomes in disguise. Cue collective gasps and furious note-taking.

One Rebel admitted to being the type who’d plan a trip to Egypt, stand before the ancient pyramids, and spend the entire time thinking about dinner plans. (Let’s be honest – how many of us saw ourselves in that mirror?) But then came the liberating question: What if we didn’t have to do that?

The real game-changer emerged when we distinguished between pleasure and joy. Pleasure, it turns out, comes from external sources – that massage, that roller coaster ride, that perfectly frosted piece of cake. Joy? That’s the internal wellspring that’s always available if we just remember to dip our bucket in.

Breaking into smaller groups, Rebels shared their own attachment stories. Some discovered they weren’t actually attached to work itself but to specific aspects of it. Others realized their relationship with alcohol needed a closer look. And many found themselves nodding along as fellow Rebels spoke about the exhausting dance of trying to please everyone while forgetting to please themselves.

But here’s where it gets really interesting: Someone dropped the phrase “desireless desire” into the mix. Talk about a cosmic riddle! How do we desire something without being attached to getting it? In many ways, achieving that balance is the key to a life well lived—where we enjoy things without becoming trapped by them.

The wisdom kept flowing as Rebels shared their takeaways:

• Releasing attachment to traffic on the highway (we see you, fellow commuters!)

• Letting go of the need for perfect business launches

• Unhooking from other people’s actions and feelings

• Breaking free from the addiction to being busy

By the end of our gathering, something had shifted. The energy was lighter, as if each person had set down a heavy backpack they didn’t realize they’d been carrying. We’d remembered that we can have goals, dreams, and desires without letting them have us.

And isn’t that the whole point? To move through life fully engaged, deeply present, and deliciously alive – while holding everything lightly enough that we can actually enjoy it?

So here’s to having our cake and eating it too, but doing it mindfully, joyfully, and without attachment to whether there will be seconds. Here’s to green lights and red lights, to pleasure and joy, to wanting things while remembering we’re already complete without them.

Because at the end of the day, maybe the real cake is the present moment – and we’re all invited to the party. 🎂✨